RIAA / MPAA to merge

By Newt Jonton, p2pnet.net

Sources close to the RIAA (Recording Industry Association of America) and MPAA (Motion Picture Association of America) say the two Hollywood trade organizations are to merge their resources and staffs to become the Record and Motion Picture Industry Association of the World (RAMPAW, prounced 'Rampaw').

Hollywood Howard Berman will retire from politics to take up the post as chairman, RIAA president Cary Sherman will become RAMPAW's first ceo and Hilary Rosen will leave her position as CNBC 'Squawk Box' anchor to run the new organization's Reality Realignment and Fact Adjustment Bureau (RRFAB, pronounced 'arfab'). MPAA boss Jack Valenti, 99, will be PR controller.

"I was completely amazed and surprised when I was asked to chair RAMPAW," said Berman at the 'coming out' party hosted by the new organization in an exclusive Hollywood Hills retreat.

"I'm absolutely thrilled," said Rosen. "It'll be real."

"It'll be just like old times, except it'll be new," sparkled Sherman. "Now we'll be able to give the music and movie loving public around the world exactly what they deserve."

Said Valenti, "These online pirates think they've been getting away with it. Well, they have. But that's all going to stop. No longer will they be able to think that. And no longer will they be able to get away it."

In her first public statement, Rosen said RAMPAW will organize and fund its own US political party to help politicians and their staffs better understand the difficulties facing the entertainment industry as it strives to overcome criminal online piracy, and to better understand the steps the US administration will need to take to combat it.

The party, to be called the First American Political Management and Persuasion Party (FAPMAPP, pronounced fapmap), will be headquarted in Washington but will have fund-raising offices in principal capitals around the world.

"RAMPAW will also be creating the Entertainment Industry Security and Investigation Unit (EISIU, pronounced 'easy-you') said Rosen.

"It will be made up of senior retired police officers from enforcement agencies around the world and will work with national and international agencies such as Scotland Yard, the FBI, CIA, NSA and SPCA to help them find and prosecute file sharing criminals everywhere."

Entertainment industry trade organizations will fund RAMPAW.

Rosen said she, Berman, Sherman and Valenti will appear on prime-time television public awareness announcement spots voluntarily hosted by radio and television broadcasters around the world, "to brief discerning music and movie lovers everywhere on our plans, all of which are being designed solely with their benefit in mind."

She added that Microsoft and other major hardware and software companies will start crash projects aimed at developing technologies to enable RAMPAW members to remotely control product flow to and from home user entertainment and communications systems.

"In this way, we'll be able to serve consumers better," added Rosen.