iPhone Technoporn
p2pnet.net News:- The lamescream media are still all a-gush with fulsome, often nauseating, fanboy raves about Steve ‘iRule’ Jobs and his iPhone – even while he’s once again busily doing his best to make the lives of people who love him and his stuff thoroughly miserable.
A crew of devotees turns out a dummy iPhone display. So Steve-a-roo sics his lawyers on them.
But what else can you expect from someone who approves a sick scheme to pillory teenagers as part of an iTunes/iPod promotion also featuring the the Big 4 Organized Music cartel’s RIAA (Recording Industry Association of America) who’d sued the kids?
However, “This is our team – it’s a strong, talented team,” burbles Momus in an embarrassing flood in Wired News, going on:
“And it’s out there fighting for our values. If it wins, these values could go mainstream, and improve the world. A really great Apple keynote – and this was one, even down to the clicker glitch Jobs filled smoothly with a charming anecdote about his early days with Woz, hacking Star Trek episodes at Berkeley – gives you the prospect of seeing your team winning the hockey tournament, or your party taking Congress. And it’s doing those things without compromise, uniting doubters, laggards and enemies behind the sheer brilliance of its vision, the clear superiority of its new tools.”
Fighting for our values? Jeez.
“I’m gushing,” says Momus. “I’ll stop now. I need to mop the floor. And punch the sky.”
Then, “Soon enough, we will all have the opportunity to communicate via WiFi antennas implanted directly into our brains,” says The Boston Globe. “Until then, the iPhone will do just fine. Or so one gathers from the rapturous response to the cellphone- slash-PDA-slash-iPod-slash-everything-else that Apple Inc. unveiled last week.”
There’s a lot more of this vomitus spewing forth from other supposedly responsible Big Media outlets. And the iPhone isn’t even on sale yet.
But not everyone has been caught in it.
“This surge of technoporn was just an especially vivid illustration of the ‘Reality Distortion Field’ that surrounds Jobs,” wrote John Naughton in The Observer, going on, “Let us now brandish a clove of garlic and dispel the Reality Distortion Field for a moment.”
Unlikely to be affected by the Jobs distortion field is the Securities and Exchange Commission, “a humourless body currently investigating the stock options scandal enveloping Apple and many other technology companies,” he says. “As far as we know, this stock options business doesn’t affect Mr Jobs – despite the fact that his salary is just $1 a year. The media frenzy generated by his performance last Tuesday will have led Apple shareholders to pray that the SEC doesn’t conclude otherwise.
“His remarkable iPhone demo highlighted the extent to which Steve Jobs is Apple. There’s no obvious successor in sight – which means that, sooner or later, the company’s board will have to address the issue of who follows him. And if you thought that BP’s problems in that regard were horrendous, stay tuned …”
And, “The U.S. Attorney’s Office announced Friday that it has launched a criminal investigation into Apple’s past stock-option grants,” says the San Jose Mercury News. “Apple’s conference call today will mark the first chance for analysts to query the company over the government’s investigation and its response.
“Many investors would like the issue to go away. But that doesn’t mean they’re not thinking about it. Apple’s stock is now a more risky bet thanks to the federal investigation, said Darren Chervitz, director of research at mutual-fund company Jacob Asset Management, which owns Apple shares. The risk to Apple is that the investigation could lead to Chief Executive Steve Jobs’ resignation, just as similar problems at other companies have led to the resignations of their CEOs, he noted.”
What goes around, comes around.
Also See:
sics his lawyers – Apple attacks ‘iPhone’ bloggers, January 16, 2007
sick scheme – Pepsi-iTunes Super Bowl ad blasted, January 30, 2004
Wired News – Why Apple Makes Me Cry, January 16, 2007
The Boston Globe – Making order out of chaos: iPhone, iHope, iDream, January 16, 2007
The Observer – Is that Mr Jobs? This is reality calling, about your iPhone, January 14, 2007
San Jose Mercury News – Options cloud may fade behind glow of iPod sales, January 16, 2007
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January 17th, 2007 at 4:25 pm
this is almost like another P2Pnet spoof
January 17th, 2007 at 11:49 pm
apple and itunes are only for dumb people with lotsa money