p2pnet.net news:- The word is out: EMI is being bought by a European private equity company. And that’s gonna mean some changes.

“Once the record guys learn that ‘distribution’ means paying people not selling records, and the new money guys learn that ‘returns’ are nothing to cheer about, the private equity suits will start to make changes as they have in every other industry that they’ve invaded,” says Independent Sources.

And having, “spoken to parties on both sides of the transaction,” it’s compiled the top 10 changes, to wit

10. Cocaine will now be amortized over 4 quarters instead of expensed in the quarter snorted

9. Remixing budgets to be renamed as ‘B Rounds’

8. Tour support will be funneled through the Cayman Islands

7. Recording contracts to now be called ’subscription agreements’ and will include full ratchet anti-dilution

6. Artist royalties to now have hurdle rates

5. Promos to be called ‘red herrings’

4. Bands won’t be dropped, they’ll be spun out to the original shareholders

3. Hip-hop artists will openly boast about the size of their ‘tranches’

2. Promotion men will hype radio stations by claiming new releases are ‘upper quartile’

1. Staff lay-offs will be called ‘involuntary redemptions’.

(Cheers, Jazz

Slashdot it!

Also See:
being bought – EMI sold for $4.7 billion, May 21, 2007
Independent Sources – Top 10 Ways EMI will be different owned by a private equity fund, May 21, 2007

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, May 22nd, 2007 at 1:21 pm and is filed under Music. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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