p2pnet.net Reader Service:- Tomorrow is the first day of the eighth year in the 21st century and, as I wrote in 2005, “a lot of people will be greeting it with tongues like a crocodile’s crutch, hemorrhaging eye-balls and swollen, pulsating brains.

I quit using drugs, including alcohol, in 1987 after they nearly killed me, I went on, continuing:

>>> But there are millions - billions? - of people who don’t have the gene, enzyme, or whatever it is that makes people abuse chemicals, but who still tie one on every now and then - on New Year’s eve, say

So - how do you cure a hang-over?

Bottom line, lay down in a quiet, darkened room and sleep it off. But if you’re not up for that, there’s a multitude of alleged ‘cures’.

Bill from Bondi, Australia, says, “When I’m out on the squirt I take the top from every beer I drink and put it in my pocket. When I get home i count the caps and that’s how many glasses of water I gotta get through. Works even better when you’re seeing double.”

Michelle Hebert, from Houston in Texas, says “Premium P.M.S. pills work within 20-25 minutes. They cure a headache, nausia, diarrea, and light headedness. I’m not sure what it will do to the guys, but it works wonders for women.”

The greasy burger and millshake, “works like a charm for most people. It also tastes really good.”

Ice cold orange juice with 2 raw eggs. Stir and drink. “You may choice to add two paracetamol (or equivalent) however these hide the pain but does not fix the problem. NOTE paracetamol is easier on the digestive system than asprin. (free range eggs are best as these are less prone to samonelli). After drinking the above get a bit of exercise to get the blood flowing and then to bed. for a bit of quality sleep.”

Caffeine. “It’ll help a headache momentarily, though it contributes to the dehydration. Same with having the hair of the dog, or more alcohol: You may feel better temporarily, but you’re just prolonging the recovery period.”

Voodoo … “apparently the Haitian suggestion is to stick thirteen pins in the cork of the offending bottle. If you can focus long enough it might feel a little like revenge.”

Kidney Dialysis. “Since you cannot depend on your kidneys to filter your blood properly after a binge, you could get a machine to do it for you. Admittedly most people don’t have access to a dialysis machine, but if you can stand getting hooked up by nurses armed with needles while still drunk, you can be sober in four or five hours without any ill effects.”

There’s also a compelling rationale for continue to abuse your aching brain and nauseated body. “Excessive intake of alcohol, we all know, kills brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way regular consumption of alcohol eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That’s why you always feel smarter after a few drinks.”

But seriously, folks, according to the Unofficial Student Manual, DON’T TAKE ASPIRIN OR IBUPRO TO RELIEVE YOUR PAIN !!!

“When drinking, aspirin can be very dangerous and quite poisonous,” saus the USM, going on:

“Aspirin should never be taken before, after, or during a drinking session. Alcohol already irritates you[r] gastrointestinal tract and aspirin just increases the acidity that can cause internal bleeding. The AMA published an article stating that taking an aspirin before a night of drinking can increase the blood alcohol levels by 26%, thus prolonging the presence of alcohol in your system.”

USM quotes an article from the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine which reads: “”Acetominophen, Aspirin, and Ibuprofen should never be taken with alcohol (unless directed by a physician). Alcholics even should avoid them when not drinking. Tylenol is metobolized by the liver and if the liver has upregulated p450 enzyme system it releases a toxic metabolite. Alcohol plus acetominophen has led to numerous liver transplants and is very dangerous. Recently, Tylenol has been forced to put labels on their bottles with alcohol warnings. Ibuprofen is also metabolized by the liver and little may be known. However, alcohol is a stomach irritant and NSAIDs like aspirin and ibuprofen plus alcohol is also a bad idea.”

I don’t vouch for the above, or indeed for any of the items here. You pays your money and you makes your choice, as they say.

Anyway, Cheers! And I wish you everything you wish for yourself for the New Year.

Jon Newton - p2pnet

This entry was posted on Monday, December 31st, 2007 at 12:10 pm and is filed under Entertainment. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

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