RIAA staffers in mass walk-out
p2pnet news | RIAA News:- Warner Music, EMI, Vivendi Universal and Sony BMG’s RIAA (Recording Industry Association of America) has gone into high gear to replace 75 top-level staff members who staged a sudden mass walk-out early this morning.
Led by RIAA joint bosses Mitch Bainwol and Cary Sherman, the departures came without warning, say sources.
“We are tired of being demonised and vilified,” said Jonathan Lamy, speaking for the group, which totals 109 in all.
“We no longer believe threats, government sanctioned extortion and legal blackmail are the way to go to persuade American music lovers to abandon their criminal ways.”
Corporate headhunters Nabbem, Grabbem & Runn have been hired to search out executives to fill the vacuum left by the exodus.
“We’ll be looking primarily at US congress people and senators, as well as retiring law enforcement and SPCA officers,” said Bob Grabbem in a statement.
Hollywood Howard Berman has been tipped to fill the top spot left vacant by Bainwol.
At least half of the 127 ex-RIAA staffers have been hired by the MPAA (Motion Picture Association of America), say sources in a position to know but who wish to remain anonymous.
Bainwol is said to be seriously contemplating joining the American presidential race as a late starter, with Sherman as his running mate.
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January 3rd, 2008 at 1:44 pm
…ain’t it nice to see that those spinners actually do see that corporate mentality isn’t working. Corporate doesn’t have a face, people do. So when the blame gets to being passed around it won’t be the corporate taking the personal hit.
What the music industry still fails to see and refuses to acknowledge is that a fundmental change has happened in the culture of music. That gets in the way of the old business model of making music. Just like trying to hold back a damn of water with bare hands, they will be just as successful in stemming the change. In otherwords, it ain’t gonna happen.
January 3rd, 2008 at 1:49 pm
Spoof?
I see no external URL.
January 3rd, 2008 at 1:53 pm
On the other hand,
http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/riaa-liner-notes.php
January 3rd, 2008 at 2:01 pm
gotta be a spoof
January 3rd, 2008 at 2:02 pm
This obviously is another p2pnet satire post. But it would be nice if it were true
January 3rd, 2008 at 2:03 pm
“We are tired of being demonised and vilified,”
Wow!
Good job Jon and Ray!
Chris C
January 3rd, 2008 at 2:05 pm
Yup. It’s a spoof. I thought there were plenty of clues but, as has been observed many times before, when it comes to the Warner Music, EMI, Vivendi Universal and Sony BMG organised music cartel, nothing is too outrageous to be true.
Cheers!
January 3rd, 2008 at 2:22 pm
damn, fooled me.
January 3rd, 2008 at 2:25 pm
Yeah nice one Jon
January 3rd, 2008 at 2:35 pm
Shit! Had me going there for a moment. Ah well, we can continue to sue at will. Muhahahahaha!!!!
January 3rd, 2008 at 2:38 pm
Sorry Chris
Cheers!
January 3rd, 2008 at 2:39 pm
Jon: I was so elated to read this and now so angry you lied to us, you £$^*$$% and)()^£!^$£$$& and even: $$^^fdgh%E£”£$%!!!!!!!!!
I’m gonna have your head on a plate, Jonny boy!!!
January 3rd, 2008 at 3:45 pm
rofl
obvious proof of spoof: spca and retiring law-enforcement people
January 3rd, 2008 at 4:08 pm
“Corporate headhunters Nabbem, Grabbem & Runn have been hired to search out executives to fill the vacuum left by the exodus.”
A carrot would do a better job of running the music industry.
I’m disappointed that it’s a spoof.
January 3rd, 2008 at 4:11 pm
while I don’t know what SPCA is, I spotted that it was one of Jon’s “could it be?”-posts at the name of the headhunters
January 3rd, 2008 at 6:13 pm
75 – 109 – 127
January 3rd, 2008 at 7:37 pm
SPCA = Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals
January 3rd, 2008 at 8:48 pm
A dream, but a good one.
January 3rd, 2008 at 11:47 pm
I knew it was a spoof about halfway through. The lack of links was a subconscience notifier along with the things you blog about. At least you are keeping the readers thinking critically…
January 4th, 2008 at 6:59 am
I get my share of hate-mail, always anonymous, and to one writer whose no-name missive I received last night, I wrote the piece above, because I was thinking “What if?”
The people at the RIAA, and all the other entertainment cartel hit organisations, are intelligent and well trained. Presumably, it’d be easy for them to find equally well paid work in other sectors.
‘What if?” – I was asking myself. “What if they all became so disgusted with what they were doing, realising the irreparable harm they’re causing innocent families, that they all walked off the job?”
Cheers!
January 4th, 2008 at 7:37 am
The SPCA bit was a tipoff that it was a spoof, but
it had me for a moment or two.
I skimmed over it the first time and didn’t pay
much attention to Nabbem, Grabbem & Runn.
Wonder if they’re related to Dewey, Cheetum, and Howe?
January 4th, 2008 at 12:56 pm
“We no longer believe threats, government sanctioned extortion and legal blackmail are the way to go to persuade American music lovers to abandon their criminal ways.”
Criminals yourself parasites!
January 4th, 2008 at 1:14 pm
Working at the RIAA is now a dangerous job and if I was them I would quit right now. Beside I wonder what’s hapen when employers read on your resume that you worked for this organization of dirty pigs and parasites.Who want you on their teams? Think about it!
January 6th, 2008 at 12:05 am
They are all lawyers. So “threats, government sanctioned extortion and legal blackmail” are the way they do it. And they laugh at being “demonised and vilified”.They don’t need other jobs, sadly.