p2pnet - rss feed: ACTA II: First Blood
p2pnet news | Movies:- Fast on the heels of the disclosure that Canada was secretly promoting the Anti-Counterfeiting Trade Agreement (ACTA), a sweeping copyright protection scheme that would create an autonomous international entity with broad police powers, comes the news that Somalia will soon introduce a companion program at an upcoming meeting of the Other Group of 8 (Countries No One Wants To Go To, Even On A Dare).
The Super Confidential Horrible Media Anti-Counterfeiting Trade Agreement (SCHMACTA) will extend the comprehensive copyright enforcement powers to shopping mall security personnel, YMCA lifeguards, and school crossing guards.
“Our qualifications are simple” said the Somalian Minister of Doing What the MPAA Asks. “If society gives someone a whistle and an exaggerated sense of self-importance, he’s one of the good guys.”
These “shock troops” will be given “shoot-to-kill” clearance in the presence of suspected infringement activity.
To arm these new front line enforcers, the MPAA today announced a “Guns For DVDs” program.
Everyone who goes to a participating Blockbuster and turns in a Matthew McConaughey DVD will receive a semi-automatic pistol.
“It’s not like anyone is actually watching those movies twice, anyway” explained an MPAA spokesperson.
The trader also receives a coupon good for 12 bullets, redeemable at any Regal multiplex, courtesy of “Sex In The City.”
No one will be given the bullets until the end of the film, just to cut down on the potential for male members of the audience to put them to use on themselves, realizing they aren’t watching Indiana Jones like they were told they would when they left home.
Addressing the new proposal, the spokesperson said “With ACTA-SCHMACTA in place, we are one large step closer to arresting anyone we want anytime we want, for any reason we choose.
“We can strip-search any body who says ‘Go ahead, make my day,’ or ‘Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn,’ in our presence, or even if we think they might say it, or might have said it someplace else.
“Those namby-pamby apologists for piracy are sure to raise a stink about this, but ask yourself this fundamental question:
Would you rather subject yourself to detention and fondling by someone with an eighth grade education and fantasies involving handcuffs, or would you rather we not have enough money to make another movie with Madonna?
“We would say the choice is yours, but we aren’t taking any chances.”
Fred Wilhelms - p2pnet
[If the corporate music industry had any ethics, Wilhelms would be its ‘ethicist-in-chief,’ wrote CounterPunch’s Dave Marsh. Wilhelms is an entertainment attorney based in Nashville, Tennessee. You can contact him at fred.wilhelms @ gmail dot com. ]
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May 28th, 2008 at 6:39 am
Spoof?
May 28th, 2008 at 6:48 am
so.. how real is ACTA?.. Is it as real as SCHMACTA… this article obviously isn’t real, so should I believe the other one is false too?.. what I mean is I can find that funny, but for many people, having articles like this one peppered throughout the website really affect its credibility and the effect of real news will be lessened (even if sometimes they’re more frightening than fake ones), and I believe those people are the ones who need to learn what’s going on out there, and if they see lies like this everywhere, they will never believe and this cause will be lost. I wouldn’t want uninitiated people to think its all a joke just because of a few jokes .. (but a separate/special section where we could take humorous shots at the MAFIAA could be fun as well)
BTW, most people where I work don’t even believe the DMCA is true, think of those people.
I still respect your work Jon, keep up.
May 28th, 2008 at 7:15 am
Don’t laugh too hard, this sort of thing regarding the militarization of the police is coming closer and closer to reality. Recall the recent armed assault on the Mormon FLDS YFZ ranch in Texas, using hundreds of police and paramilitary forces, with assualt weapons, machine guns and at least one army tank (painted white, as if to mimic UN “peacekeeping” forces) against people who were nonviolent and completely unarmed.
Just saw another story ** an excellent commentary ** about Big Media’s push to contaminate the government’s legislative process in their never-ending attempts to turn ordinary citizens into criminals:
**** http://www.mercurynews.com/chris_obrien/ci_9400941 ****
“” … The latest attempt by the music labels to stiffen penalties for illegal downloads has failed. But the mindset it represents is troubling: The recording industry remains obsessed with criminalizing the behavior of its audience.
This has to be one of the worst public relations strategies in history. It needs to stop. Instead of wasting time and resources fighting the people they want to be their customers, industry officials should focus that energy into figuring out how to engage them.
Instead, the music labels are pushing things like the “compilation clause” that was part of an intellectual property bill introduced in Congress in December. The clause would have assessed penalties based on each song pirated from a compact disc. Currently, pirating can result in one penalty per CD. The effect would have been to dramatically multiply financial penalties.
Fortunately, the clause was dropped thanks to the opposition of consumer advocacy groups like the Media Access Project, Public Knowledge, and the Electronic Frontier Foundation. On May 8, the House passed by a vote of 410-11 a watered-down version of the bill known as “The Prioritizing Resources & Organization for Intellectual Property Act,” or HR 4279.
“I think the worst fears have been resolved satisfactorily,” said Andrew Jay Schwartzman, who has run the Media Access Project for almost 30 years. “We can live with this.”
The original draft and its provision for increased penalties had consumer groups and the blogosphere howling from the start. The provision was championed by, among others, the Recording Industry Association of America. ….. “”
complete article at http://www.mercurynews.com/chris_obrien/ci_9400941
(I included link twice to make sure it gets sent to the moderation queue and site staff reads it - as a substitute for sending email when my mail service is down. BTW: I wonder when this site will install a page for submitting story links [badly needed, IMO] as many other sites do?)
May 28th, 2008 at 8:03 am
^^ I hate to admit it, but I don’t understand what you mean by a “page for submitting story links [badly needed, IMO] as many other sites do?)”
Enlighten me (and I’m not being sarcastic).
Cheers! And thanks …
May 28th, 2008 at 9:22 am
“Spoof?”
No, it’s 100% real; Lifeguards and crossing guards can now shoot to kill if they suspect someone of having unauthorized content on their iPod.
“Fortunately, the clause was dropped thanks to the opposition of consumer advocacy groups like the Media Access Project, Public Knowledge, and the Electronic Frontier Foundation.”
But yet the clause allowing them to seize and forfeit equipment used in copyright infringement, even if it’s a family’s computer, survived intact. Frankly, I’d be more worried about that, since the content company would have had to win a lawsuit to get the higher penalties, but it’s never been a requirement that people even be charged with a crime before authorities can start forfeiture proceedings.
May 28th, 2008 at 9:25 am
@Johnnyg0
ACTA is real while this is a parody, and quite a funny one really
You can read more about copyright (or copywrong) in general at TF,Ars and ezee.se
Cheers!
May 28th, 2008 at 10:19 am
In the comment of an earlier article reported that having 2 weblink addresses in the same post would automatically place the comment in the moderation queue instead of being posted immediately in the comment section. Seems apparently not if both URLs are duplicates.
Most news sites have a webpage submission form where readers can submit news articles directly. The submission page has several fields for the submitter to fill in, such as story title, URL, message body, etc.
A good example is at http://www.techdirt.com/submitstory.php (though I personally think this submission page should have included a separate field for the URL, it being the most important element)
Having a webpage submission form is generally a lot more reliable than having to depend on spam-ridden email.
A footnote: I believe in helping out the “little guy” and as such prefer to frequent sites not run by big corporations. Unfortunately, the email service of small independent sites is often unreliable.
May 28th, 2008 at 10:42 am
^^ Ah. Yes. Now I know what you mean and it’s something I’ve been thinking about. When you said ‘links’ page I misunderstood.
In fact, I already have a links tab ready to start. It’s the last one on the right on the main menu bar.
It’ll have to sites rather than stories, and it’ll have separate pages for headings such as news, humour,’ and so on.
I just haven’t gotten around to officially launching it. That’s the trouble with being a one-man site
But your idea is a good one.
May 28th, 2008 at 11:10 am
Setting up a submission form could be done quite easily.
There are plugins available for Wordpress, such as Cforms and TDO Mini Forms, that allow the creation of custom submission forms. (P2Pnet might already be using one of these plugins. )
http://wordpress.org/extend/plugins/tdo-mini-forms/
http://wordpress.org/extend/plugins/cforms/
May 28th, 2008 at 11:42 am
It’s hard to distinguish between reality and parody when it comes to copyright and patents. Almost anything you can conceive is possible in the realm of copyright lobbyists. They seem to have complete control over governments around the globe; It’s almost as if they write the laws themselves (which probably isn’t that far from the truth). Actually, it reminds me of the Pan Am lobbying campaign to be the sole international carrier for America, although that never manifested.
May 28th, 2008 at 12:55 pm
“It’s not a Spoof, it’s a Feature”
Read about tomorrows copyrightlaw changes already today on p2pnet.net
Unfortunately those Contentcriminals seems to get their ideas truely from stuff that was ment as spoof or parody.
May 29th, 2008 at 6:12 am
@Ryan
yes I know ACTA is real.. I was just pointing out that a lot of people don’t believe true stories when they are next to fake ones. And I would like more people to know and believe what is happening around us.