p2pnet news view | P2P:- That’s it, damnit! No more posts until next year! And I really mean it!

But before I go, thanks to everyone for 2008. Running p2pnet has been fun and educational, and I’ve virtually met a lot of nice people. Maybe some day I’ll even get to really meet them!

Meanwhile, “Tomorrow is the first day of the eighth year in the 21st century,” I wrote on December 31, 2007,  going on, “a lot of people will be greeting it with tongues like a crocodile’s crutch, hemorrhaging eye-balls and swollen, pulsating brains.”

Nor has anything changed in 2008 and people are already hard at it in Australia and other climes, many of them undoubtedly asking themselves, and each other, ‘What’s the best cure for a hang-over?’

It’s simple. There ain’t no such thing. Except don’t drink.

1. But if you insist, try repeatedly banging your head against something hard. The pain will definitely overwhelm the hangover pain, but only until you stop. Then it’ll be 10 times worse.
2. Hypnotise yourself. Stand in front on the mirror, stare fixedly at your green-tinged image and repeat,  in a determined voice, ‘I am not going to die, I am not going to die, I am not going to die.’
3. Drink a large glass of Pepto Dismal before each glass of alcohol.
4. Or you could try Holly’s solution. That’s her on the right. She reckons she has the answer. Check out her video at the bottom.

And if none of the above do it for you, in Roman times, “Pliny the Elder swore by raw owls’ eggs,” says Agence France-Presse.

In Elizabethan England, “a pair of eels suffocated in wine was touted as the trick,” it says, going on, “Green frogs were an acceptable substitute for those who were out of eels.

“In the 19th century, hungover chimney sweeps would sip warm milk with a teaspoon of soot added.”

That, however, was then, and in the digital 21st-century, under Man Goes Bananas, “245g vanilla yoghurt – 235ml pineapple juice; 1 banana, sliced; 1 mango peeled, seeded and chopped; 120ml non-fat milk,” says the Taranaki Daily News in New Zealand. “Place all ingredients in a blender or smoothie maker and mix.”

Bill from Bondi, Australia, says, “When I’m out on the squirt I take the top from every beer I drink and put it in my pocket. When I get home i count the caps and that’s how many glasses of water I gotta get through. Works even better when you’re seeing double.”

Michelle Hebert, from Houston in Texas, says “Premium P.M.S. pills work within 20-25 minutes. They cure a headache, nausia, diarrea, and light headedness. I’m not sure what it will do to the guys, but it works wonders for women.”

The greasy burger and millshake, “works like a charm for most people. It also tastes really good.”

Ice cold orange juice with 2 raw eggs. Stir and drink. “You may choice to add two paracetamol (or equivalent) however these hide the pain but does not fix the problem. NOTE paracetamol is easier on the digestive system than asprin. (free range eggs are best as these are less prone to samonelli). After drinking the above get a bit of exercise to get the blood flowing and then to bed. for a bit of quality sleep.”

Caffeine. “It’ll help a headache momentarily, though it contributes to the dehydration. Same with having the hair of the dog, or more alcohol: You may feel better temporarily, but you’re just prolonging the recovery period.”

Voodoo … “apparently the Haitian suggestion is to stick thirteen pins in the cork of the offending bottle. If you can focus long enough it might feel a little like revenge.”

Kidney Dialysis. “Since you cannot depend on your kidneys to filter your blood properly after a binge, you could get a machine to do it for you. Admittedly most people don’t have access to a dialysis machine, but if you can stand getting hooked up by nurses armed with needles while still drunk, you can be sober in four or five hours without any ill effects.”

There’s also a compelling rationale for continue to abuse your aching brain and nauseated body. “Excessive intake of alcohol, we all know, kills brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way regular consumption of alcohol eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That’s why you always feel smarter after a few drinks.”

And finally, here’s what the Unofficial Student Manual has to say

Personal Experience is the only way to perfect your personal hangover cure.  Below are some of the finest after many years of trial and error.

* Aspirin and Ibuprofin is not an option as your liver will need replacing very soon!did a

1. Drinking water before bed (about 1 liter) along with Vitamins C, E, and a multi-vitamin.  If that doesn’t work then try a Chocolate or your favorite flavored Milk Shake the next day. It works wonders plus it tastes great. Water, water, water is the number one cure from our panel of experts.
2. Drink loadz of water the next day. This will help to “get rid of” some of the excess alcohol along with the excess water. The only side effect is you’ll spend most of your day on the porcelain.
3. Eating something that is easy for your body to digest such as grapes and toast helps speed up recovery.
4. Raw eggs, if it doesn’t make you feel better, it’ll make you throw up and that should make you feel better.
5. For all those sporty students out there who happen to be studying by the seaside a quick dip in the sea will numb your nerves so you don’t feel a thing as well as get rid of that pounding headache.  The salt could also make you puke the unwanted alcohol.
6. More Sugar. This helps because alcohol breaks down sugar stores in the liver that need to be replaced. Without these sugar stores we often feel light-headed and weak.
7. Tomatoes!  Don’t ask me why this works, but it tends to do miracles.  This is why a bloody mary and V8’s are so popular as they are packed with nutrients.  Try some basic tomato sauce or pasta sauce on spaghetti.  This is quite easy on the stomach and has incredible results.
8. Coffee.  Contrary to popular belief, coffee is not a sobering agent, but the caffeine can constrict the enlarged blood vessels in your head that cause that blinding headache.  If you are a heavy coffee drinker, then not having your regular cup could cause added headache through the typical withdrawal symptoms.  However, coffee will intensify your dehydration so don’t forget to drink twice as much water as coffee.
9. A cold washcloth.  Much like coffee, a cold, wet towel can also help constrict the enlarged blood vessels in your head.
10. A classic but goody is the cool refreshing taste of an energy drink.  The electrolytes and sugar will speed your recovery and absorption of the alcohol.

But bottom line, though, to paraphrase Eddie Cochran, There Ain’t No Cure for the Hang-Over Blues.

Cheers! And all the best …

Jon Newton – p2pnet

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, December 31st, 2008 at 3:35 pm and is filed under P2P. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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