Hollywood’s first billion dollar January
p2pnet news view | P2P | Movies:- The Criminal News Network – sometimes referred to as CNN – recently reported that in grim economic times, cinemas rake it in. It happened during the Great Depression, and it’s happening now.
Apparently, the only shining light at the moment is that reflected off the silver screen inside a darkened movie theatre.
Hollywood, and the owners of the over-priced, dirty, smelly, noisy, sticky, bag-searching (illegally) theatres are taking advantage of the consumer again. So what else is new?
Not only are customers being subjected to the usual less-than-mediocre drivel that masquerades as entertainment, they now have to submit to illegal bag searches and infra-red spying by untrained, unqualified, unsupervised minimum wage high school students.
And if that wasn’t enough, because times are tough consumers looking to hold on to their hard-earned cash are – according to CNN – going to the overpriced movies again in droves instead of buying over-priced DVDs. “Escapism has no price tag”, so says CNN. And that’s exactly what Hollywood is banking on. Literally.
Hollywood is celebrating its first ever billion-dollar January.
Or …
http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=f4f_1237859663
The MPAA says they’re losing money from “illegal filesharing” – a crime that doesn’t exist. They say all those “pirates” out there in the internets are stealing, and not buying movie tickets or DVDs.
Don’t cry for Hollywood. It’s just not true. What other industry can earn a billion dollars in a month simply by exploiting hard economic times and the customers who spend that money? And then sue their customers? Those modern-day Fagins make money hand over fist. It’d be funny if it weren’t true.
The International Herald Tribune goes on to say:
“The DVD money has been so big that studio decisions about whether to make a movie have sometimes gone like this: Is this film going to draw interest at the box office? We’re not sure? Well, if it’s only a modest success, that’s O.K. We can count on consumers to toss the DVD into their shopping carts.”
Not anymore. Filesharing’s taken care of that. At least that’s what the lamescream media would have us believe.
Truth is, people still buy DVDs. Lots of them. And filesharers make up a major portion, which is something the cartels refuse to admit.
And now, as proof that – for reasons beyond comprehension – consumers (p2pers and non-p2pers alike) are heading back to movie theatres, attendance is up 15% from last year, and revenues are up 17%.
The Hollywood.com “box office expert” in the CNN clip (sorry, his name is too difficult to even spell here, much less pronounce) claims that a $10 ticket is an affordable cheap thrill. A “bargain”.
Do movie tickets really cost so little in the US?
Where I live it’s at least $20. Oh, but in America, it seems if you bring your own snacks or happen to have a camera in your bag, you can be arrested on the spot and charged with a federal crime. So you’d better buy that jumbo popcorn and soda in the theatre.
Do people really want to spend so much money in such dirty, noisy, sticky, smelly theatres? Do they really want to be forced to pay for stale popcorn and flat sodas?
Do they? Do YOU? Will YOU? Or is this just some lamecream media hype to convince people to buy tickets and submit to illegal body/ bag searches?
Before you decide, consider this:
The IHT reports that Hollywood is so overjoyed with recent box office receipts, it’s pulling out all the stops. Although they’ll still rely heavily on DVD sales, “There is no more downside protection for producers in the video marketplace,” said Ingo Vollkammer, a co-founder and a co-chief executive of Leomax Entertainment, an independent production and film finance company. “Movies today need to be theatrically driven.”
“In addition to big ‘tent pole’ blockbusters, this means movies that are fun to watch in groups: at least 10 musicals are in full-steam-ahead development, including a remake of ‘My Fair Lady.’ And it means more pictures that are pre-branded: ‘Monopoly’ and ‘Candy Land,’ movie versions of the board games, are on the way. Most of all, it means a strong return by major studios to middle-of-the-road, genre pictures.”
“Tent-pole blockbusters”?
I think that means producers pitch a tent in their trousers when they see another way to rip people off with crap. “More remakes? Big budget mindless action films? Movies based on board games? Boing! Up goes the tent! An unnecessary remake of ‘Creature From The Black Lagoon’ you say? Boing! Boing! I think I just wet my pants! Let’s do lunch!”
If that’s how you want to spend your money, good for you. Er, good for Hollywood. But if that’s not your idea of money well spent, you can always look forward to the return of Rosanne Barr in yet another crappy sitcom on the small screen. You might not be able to demand your money back, but you can always turn off the TV – something you should do anyway anytime Rosanne Barr is on TV. Just download it for free if you really like her.
When Monopoly, Candy Land, My Fair Lady and all the other crappy remakes and juvenile twaddle are released, be sure to download only good quality DVD screeners. Pop your own corn, download a DVD rip, and just sit back and relax for free.
By doing this you’ll be telling the tent-pitchers you won’t pay for remakes, rehashes, sequels, or prequels. It might make them think twice about the next script they buy.
Nah. Who am I kidding?
Save your money and just keep downloading.
One day they might get the message.
catflap – p2pnet
March, 2009
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March 24th, 2009 at 12:45 pm
Okay, this is just — wow.
1. Remakes are usually about half (to a quarter) as good as the original: case in point, the godawful remake of “The Music Man” with the guy who played Ferris Bueller. Compare that to the one with Robert Preston and Shirley Jones, and the second one is so obviously worse that there’s no point ever watching it again. Remakes are the ultimate no-effort route to success: They don’t involve actually writing a new script, and they can cash in on people’s nostalgic memories of the previous version. “Gee, Robert Preston was good in this, so this one should be great, too!”
As an added bonus, the corporate weasels can use remakes to keep “monetizing” stuff, so they can go whimpering to the government for the next copyright term extension every few years. I mean, if the Big Bad evil Public Domain swallows “their” content up like a piranha, how can they continue to throw lavish coke-parties on their private jets?
2. Candyland? They’re gonna make a movie about CANDYLAND? Why not “hungry hungry hippos”: at least that would be a fast-paced drama set in the African jungles or something. Or maybe a tense, heart-rending medical drama based on that “Operation” game I used to play when I was a kid. (That’d work, actually: Middle-eastern terrorists take over a hospital and force the doctors to do unnecessary surgery as a means of torturing hostages. If they refuse, the terrorists use a cattle-prod on them. It’s up to Bruce Willis or some other action-hero type of dude to save the day.)
That could kinda work — but Candyland?
Wow.
March 24th, 2009 at 2:31 pm
i only board game movie i might consider paying to see would be a HD movie of naked “Twister” in an IMAX theatre.
March 24th, 2009 at 2:47 pm
I have another question: are the remakes serving a second purpose to prevent the original characters from falling into public domain?
March 24th, 2009 at 11:32 pm
Readers write NO
the old film if it falls out of the 50 year limit is public domain
in effect what htey do is just try to make a buck before it goes to public domain
im surprised they haven’t redone metropolis in the USA with its crazy 95 year and more copyright