Apple to patent the letter ‘i’
p2pnet Special:- “Parody is a very cool form of expression,” p2pnet’s Alex H emailed from Oz over the weekend.
So here’s the first of Complete Rubbish, a new as-and-when p2pnet feature suggested by Alex, who also supplied the first two examples.
If you’re inspired, send your CR items to jon[at]p2pnet.net so we can share them with everyone : )
Read on >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Apple to patent the letter ‘i’
Apple today announced its intention to patent the letter “i”.
In a press release, Apple ceo Steve Jobs says he’s confident the patent will be granted and when it is, “if you stick a lower case ‘i’ in front of anything, we’ll sue your pants off.”
Apple’s legal department defended accusations that “prior art” has been sufficiently established.
“Yes, the letter ‘i’ has been around for almost three thousand years, but we’ve developed it into something useful and think that will satisfy the requirments of the United States Patent and Tradmark Office”, said Apple’s legal representative Rikky Jenkamama.
“Besides, the USPTO has given out patents for much more ridiculous ideas than this one. Ask Bill Gates.”
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RIAA boosts file sharing
According to internet research company RandomIT Stats, 8,492 new people log on to file sharing networks every time the RIAA issues a press statement.
RandomIT Stat’s Chief Anylist, JoJo Tanger spoke with Complete Rubbish yesterday.
“After looking at the avarge number of new people who log on every hour, we found a big spike on our cute little PowerPoint graph,” he said. “It turns out the spike happens two days after the RIAA issues a statement saying how great it is at suing file sharers and wiping out p2p.”
Now Colombian cocaine czar Pablo Alsova Senchos says he’ll be asking the RIAA to write press releases condeming his organization.
“My associates have looked into these people and we think we could do business,” he told Complete Rubbish. “We have similar ways of getting things done.
“With the RIAA’s superb reverse marketing skills, we expect to increase cocaine shipments by 40% next financial year.”
Alex H, p2pnet development manager – Sydney, Australia
[Alex is an operations manager for an ATM (automatic teller machine) supplier and he specialises in infrastructure development and maintenance, and logistics. He’s also an[other] active member of the Shareaza community.]
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September 26th, 2005 at 5:45 pm
Haha, great article
September 26th, 2005 at 6:30 pm
here here
irobot sue them sue their pants come on!
September 26th, 2005 at 6:54 pm
Do I need to remind everybody that part of the dictonnary is already trade-marked : windows, orange for instance. If all is goind the way the capitalists want, then you’ll have to pay just to breath and speak !
September 26th, 2005 at 7:08 pm
there is just no way that you can morally patent a letter… there are only 26 of them for crist sake…
I know they use the I for all their product names now… but they should patent/copywrite the indevidual names… not the I.
I alot other companies use the I for differnet things… if apple does this… and succeeds, I loose more faith in the country… v.v
September 26th, 2005 at 7:26 pm
err, this is a joke
September 26th, 2005 at 9:04 pm
Yes, the word ‘Windows’ is trademarked in the context of computer software. However a company that made those things with glass in them that are installed in the walls of your home could not trademark the word ‘windows’ in conjunction with the items they sell.
Similarly, Apple computer trademarked ‘Apple’ in the domain of computer hardware and peripherals. A trademark would not be given to Mott’s for ‘Apple Juice’.
So if you wish, you can start making Windows Ice Cream, Windows Pet Food, Apple bathroom cleaner, or Tide blue jeans without running afoul of that Latham Act (US Trademark Law) because you are using a common word in a context different than it’s dictionary definition. You can not use created words like ‘Coca-Cola, Kleenex, Jif, or Fabreeze’ for anything at all without permission because these are considered ‘fanciful’ and are accorded the highest degree of trademark protection.
–TG
September 26th, 2005 at 9:33 pm
Just a related note:
The US Copyright office has recently ruled that fonts are not subject to copyright on the theory that the alphabet is not, so ignore all of those warnings on your Adobe Fonts CDs. However, the names of the fonts can be trademarked, according to the US Patent and Trademark Office. So now there will be many different names for the same font. Fabulous.
September 27th, 2005 at 1:03 am
Well, it wouldn’t be patent, it would be trademark, and it’s not as dumb as it sounds: Zilog did attempt to trademark the letter Z in the 70’s (they failed, fortunately!)
September 27th, 2005 at 5:04 pm
i think Apple is nuts. And if i want to use the letter i, i will. iiiiiiiiiiiiiii
Have a wonderful day. i will too.
September 28th, 2005 at 6:45 pm
http://www.theregister.co.uk/1999/07/22/apple_fortunate_intel_didnt_manage/
what happened to the good old days whyen you could have only copyrighted unique and different things? Like some medicine or a new invention not something that has been around for thousands of years!
Intel or Apple they are both nuts. You know what? I will be better copyrighting now the color red and or white. And if Apple uses it I will sue them till their heads spin!
October 7th, 2005 at 11:16 pm
*cough* COMMIE *cough*